soft-shelled zombie crabs

Spouse took me out to a restaurant tonight and I ordered ‘soft-shelled crabs’. Having never had them before I thought nothing of it, until the plate was set before me with bodies of two small crabs whole. That I was supposed to eat.

Now I have worked on a crab-processing boat in the middle of the Pribilof Islands and I never saw anything like this. The legs started twitching, one of them crawled off the plate and launched straight at my husbands neck.

Lucky for his quick reflexes he dipped down, opened his mouth and chomped the head off the crab before any pinching could occur. We devoured the zombie crabs before they could devour us… paid the bill and headed home. On the way we drove past some sketchy looking deer in the woods with glow-in-the-dark eyes – but now we are home I think we’re safe. Considering one of our walls is 80% windows, we’re going to have to burrow pretty deep under the covers to avoid being seen.

sic

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